Family over everything.
When something like this happens, it affects everyone differently. Our family is small, but our family is mighty.
Here is OUR story...
Mom’s Story | Written March 2018
I always love to receive calls from our kids…but not the two calls from Colin hours apart on 9/2/17:
Mom, GJ had a seizure and
Mom, GJ has a brain tumor.
I don’t remember much between 9/2 and 9/6 (the date of surgery). It was all far more than I could handle, but on 9/6, despite waiting HOURS for a delayed surgery, when they came to take GJ to the Operating Room, I vividly recall him saying “Time to dance”? Through the last six months, GJ has sailed through a seizure, a diagnosis, chemo, proton radiation and now more chemo and the Optune cap.
I can honestly say he has not complained ONCE.
His ability to say “Time to dance” as he was leaving to have his skull cut open from ear to ear to remove a tumor is something I still can’t understand. I have found it very difficult to navigate my new role…I’m supposed to be the strong one; I’m the mom! I have feared joining this club my mom belonged to….the one where moms are told: “Your child has cancer”. Yet here I am.
What helps me Get up, Dress up and Show up? Family, friends and faith…and most of all GJ. My best days are when I’m with him, because honestly, there’s not one sign of illness…not one! He’s an amazing young man who knows that even though ‘statistically’, there is a very small percentage of people that has no recurrence for years, he strongly believes “someone has to be in that percentage and it’s going to be me”.
Another quotable quote from the early days is when he found me crying and asked
“What’s wrong”
When I said:
“I’m so scared of the unknown”
He replied
“That’s probably not a very smart thing”.
Although I’m the mom, he continues to hold ME up!
Shortly after the tumor was confirmed to be the most aggressive form of brain cancer, a GBM, we went to a play in NYC.
One of the lines was a verse from the bible “Be anxious for nothing”. I looked that up, and it, along with GJ’s advice not to let my fear of the unknown consume me, has been my mantra.
Those who know me know that I have a strong faith in God, and I believe angels are constantly around my family. A couple weeks before his diagnosis I very often saw the signs they send me. I wasn’t sure why they were so prevalent….but I believe they were reminding me….we’re here with you.
Along those lines, I know that the number 11 is related to the presence of angels and serve as a reminder that I should pass my fear over to the angels. How fitting, therefore:
GJ was born on 10/2, the feast day of Guardian Angels;
GJ’s seizure (without it the cancer would have continued to grow) was on 9/2 (9+2=11);
The phone call from Colin that GJ had a brain tumor came at exactly 11:11 PM on 9/2;
We learned the pathology results on 9/13 (11 days post diagnosis; also 9/13 adds to 22, 11 doubled!)
His coin (indicating the # Procure assigned to him) is 2992 (first two and last two digits add to 11; all four together…22!).
I do know that I am humbled by the MANY (so many) people praying for GJ.
I believe his positive attitude, the knowledge of doctors, researchers and scientists combined with the grace of God will result in the miracle of NED (No Evidence of Disease) in his MRIs for many many years to come.
For the past six months, our family has been strengthened by the prayers and support of friends. Additionally, though, I’ve watched our ‘kids’ step up and support each other, Geo and most of all me! It’s not how it’s supposed to work…I’m supposed to be strong for them.
However, I do not know what we would do without each other. Stache Strong, baby…STACHE STRONG!!!
Dad’s Story | Written March 2018
Before Sept 2, 2017, I could not conceive that an event would change not only my outlook on the future, but also the pattern and logistics of my every day.
Up to that point my retiree outlook was that if I can’t finish a task today, I can do it tomorrow. I had plans of what I wanted to accomplish or do but they were only thoughts. That day initiated an all-consuming new world of learning medical matters as my family shared in the care of GJ needs. I also needed to ensure that my family would succeed by performing the myriad of travel logistics that were required (going between Mt Sinai in NYC, Procure in Somerset NJ, and our homes in Wurtsboro NY and Vestal NY).
“StacheStrong” became the moniker of that new outlook and fortitude.
My external emotions were put aside to ensure our band made it thru the journey to come. The odyssey’s first stage started out when Betsy and I had gotten a call from Colin relaying the news of GJ’s seizure that afternoon while up in Cape Cod at a friend’s house.
That next day became a forecast of the next 6 months.
It began with a 6 am frantic 4 hr. trip in the rain into NYC. All the worries you can imagine ran through our heads during that long ride of unknowns. However, when we got there and saw him with that GJ smile and jokes by him it said he was handling it. I don’t know that we were ‘handling it’ as he lay in that hospital bed.
We left the van in the hospital garage as our suitcase while we traveled back and forth between sleeping at GJs and spending time with him at the hospital; it was a creative logistic of ease. GJ successfully handled the Wednesday afternoon surgery like it was nothing with no physical handicaps…unbelievable.
In two days, he was doing laps around the ICU.
However, my worries were not only of GJ’s condition but also the mental state of Betsy, Colin and Kelly. The surgeon said he could go home Friday afternoon right from ICU. My logistics antenna went up……driving someone after brain surgery across the GWB and getting stuck in traffic……. not going to do it. So, we waited until Saturday and then drove 4 hrs. back to Vestal with a just released brain surgery patient……StacheStrong.
Logistics are key.
The second stage of trips for Dr meetings into NYC city sometimes leveraged our Lake House as a mid-point to make it a little easier doing all the driving. Other times it was a 3-hour flyby to the city. Always interesting was that whether it took 1.5 or 3 hours to get to the city (always took 50 mins to go the last 2 miles to the appt…). It always seemed that, when leaving NYC, we found the FDR backed up.
Google maps instructed us to go across Manhattan to get to West Side Hwy, but then we had to battle solid traffic w/stop lights in a van……. quite the experience. But we managed to make all the meetings and do all the traveling with no injury to us or the van.
The final stage of traveling to Procure in Somerset, NJ brought a need to learn new highways and logistics. We developed the pattern of everything going in boxes or plastic bins to carry in clothes, food, blow up bed, fishing gear, and dog food to our extended stay hotel room.
You see, we moved in Monday and out on Friday……for 6 straight weeks. Oh, and we brought Opey with us for the first two weeks until GJ’s allergies to Opey caused us to leave him home. At least now I didn’t have to carry in his crate to set up in the closet each week.
We all became pretty close living in a single room together.
For exercise we went to walk all over …. NJ shore on the beach and boardwalk, Malls when it rained and parks that we discovered. We all became pretty close living in a single room together, sharing a small table to eat off, cooking on 1 burner stove and waiting with GJ as he did his radiation treatments.
I found that his ringing of the bell at Procure when he finished that final treatment was my emotional release of holding so much inside.
It was a beautiful moment, and we were all Stache Strong following the strongest of our little group…. GJ.
Sister’s Story | Written March 2018
Optimistic, strong, brave, positive, cheerful, and humorous are a few characteristics I think of when I hear the word cancer and think about GJ’s journey.
What do you think of when you hear the word cancer, what comes to mind? Optimistic, strong, brave, positive, cheerful, and humorous are a few characteristics I think of when I hear the word cancer and think about GJ’s journey.
That “GJ smile” has always been a slogan in our family, but that “GJ smile” through the last six months has resonated strength to #stachestrong and beat this cancer!
Not once have I heard or seen GJ let this diagnosis, or the treatments define him. He is still doing what he loves most – including two of his passions… running and golfing! His positive attitude has given all of us the perspective to take a deep breath and appreciate the smiles, laughs and memories with our friends and family.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
I was in the car headed shopping at the outlets (for those good Labor Day deals of course) and Colin called, “what medication is GJ on?”. He kept reassuring me that everything was okay, GJ was out to brunch and had a seizure, he’s a trooper and everything will be okay.
The rest of that day every possible scenario ran through my head, and everyone reassured me everything would be okay. I passed out from exhaustion Saturday night and woke up immediately to text my mom for an update. She calmly called to let me know the seizure was caused by a brain tumor and she and Dad were on their way to the hospital.
I lost it, no way was this happening, as my mom said, “I feel like I’m in a bad dream and I can’t wake up”.
Thankfully I was in Long Island; I quickly packed up muffins, chips, water, and anything I felt would help us “cope” with this devastating news.
I remember Colin texting me that I am strong, and when I walk into the room to be strong, GJ is no different, he’s just lying in a hospital bed.
Walking into the hospital room and seeing GJ watching Sports Center and his “hello there” greeting was as if nothing was going different, just as Colin told me. He was calm, cool, collected and happy to see the muffins I was carrying (which I later learned the dude was hungry!)
About an hour later, Mom, Dad, and Colin came into the room and we all just sat around and talked about the US Open and Mom and Dad’s trip to Cape Cod. We had talked to the doctors and surgery was going to be Wednesday morning.
Early Wednesday morning Mom, Dad, Colin and I walked into the hospital and up to GJ’s room ready for the day ahead of us. Wednesday was such a long day of different emotions, but the four of us were together and knew GJ was going to kick butt.
After surgery, Mom and Dad went into the ICU to see GJ first, Colin and I stood outside in the hallway anxiously waiting to go see GJ. Finally, Colin and I walked in to see him, I asked him: “how do you feel” his response: “I’ve had hangovers worse than this”, Colin and I just laughed, and, in that moment, I knew everything was going to be alright.
Each one of us had our own emotions but GJ was still his calm, cool, collected, happy self.
The next few weeks were a whirlwind of emotions finding out it was the most aggressive form of brain cancer. Each one of us had our own emotions but GJ was still his calm, cool, collected, happy self, reassuring each one of us that he is going to beat this cancer.
Typically, people hear this devastating news, and their worlds are rocked. Don’t get me wrong, our worlds were rocked hearing the news, they were rocked and put back together through the love and support of our friends and family.
The past 6 months has been a rollercoaster of emotions, countless hours of traveling and a camera roll of photos to capture all of these moments. Each and every day #stachestrong reminds me of GJ’s strength and attitude. It helps me find my strength and ultimately reevaluate my attitude to appreciate what I have.
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